Anxiety and Panic Attacks (Part 2)

In my last post I said I visited a University today, Syracuse is the name. I absolutely loved the campus, the programs offered, and I could totally picture myself going there! This is the first school I've visited though so I can't say too much but I enjoyed the experience. However, I did have a minor panic attack while I was there. I was so overwhelmed with beginning my college search and I felt really lost and confused. I could not get over the fact that I was going to college, but I still have two years to mature and get myself ready, which I really need! After today's minor freak out on campus and a bit more major freakout once I got home, I figured it would finally be time to post this.

Guess what, there is a whole other side of me that most people don't see. Most people are surprised when I tell them I have a blog called "The Anxious Me" The response is normally- "What? You? Anxious? No way!" I've gotten pretty good with concealing my anxiety in front of people but I totally let it out when I'm with people I'm more comfortable with.
(This has nothing to do with self-confidence, I actually am pretty confident about myself, this is more just dealing with stress.)

What do I have to lose? Who, that I care about, is going to judge me for this post?

Here goes...

I recently started to get another wave of anxiety and I have since experienced a couple of panic attacks. I've started working on this blog post for a while but I didn't really want to post it until I was more comfortable sharing it as it is quite a personal topic. I've finally gathered the courage to publish this (4 months later) and I want to share a few things that have made anxiety easier for me. I find that the more knowledge I have on this topic the better I feel because at least I know it's just a panic attack and that no harm is actually being done to me.

Things to note:
You CAN NOT DIE from having a panic attack.
They only last for 5-20 mins so it's really not that long even though it might feel like years.

I think the most important thing with anxiety is to acknowledge that you have a problem, once you can do that everything else becomes easy.

First things first, what is a panic attack?
A panic attack is when your body feels like it is in danger, it then reacts by going into fight or flight mode. You can either decide to fight the "monster" or flee it. The problem is, your body is really not in danger, it was used more in cavemen days when they had to fight animals, so we don't really need that response anymore. This is why it is important to manage anxiety and panic attacks.

I looked up symptoms for Panic Attacks and Anxiety, here are some good sites!
Panic Attacks
Panic Attacks vs. Anxiety Attack

This video told me what a panic attack was and confirmed my suspicions of having had one.



My first panic attack happened while I went shopping with my friends. Instead of leaving everything behind, I returned everything I bought. I felt like I had no control over my actions and that I absolutely had to that. I was shaking the whole way home and ended up getting really sick that weekend also. (Memorial Day Weekend)

The second time I had a panic attack I was with my mom shopping at the same store (this store is very highly disorganized and I have not shopped there since for fear of another panic attack) and I just suddenly wanted to drop everything I had in my hands and walk out the door. (Much like the video above.)

Sometimes I also just feel like I need to leave the room. This has been happening quite recently in school. After I took my spanish test I felt so dizzy and short of breath that I just wanted to walk out the door. For some reason I couldn't get myself up and I just sat still even though I wanted to go which freaked me out even more. Thank god the bell rang so I could leave normally.

My anxiety is so bad that I lose my appetite and can't sleep because I get so nervous and scared.

My symptoms include:

1. Shaking Uncontrollably
2. Starting to get really cold
3. Sweating
4. Nausea
5. Goosebumps
6. Heart Racing a million miles a minute
7. Blurry vision
8. Feeling as though I am going to pass out
9. Not being able to stand
10. Feeling threatened and needing to leave right away or stand stock still
11. Not having control over my mind and body- it feels as though someone else is controlling your actions and you have no power to do anything but follow

How to get over a panic attack







This video helped me with ways to relax- not targeted for anxiety but helpful non-the-less as relaxation is key in anxiety.

As well as her blog posts here and here.
Tanya Burr's blog post also helped a lot here.

Things that help me Relax:

1. Reading some of my favorite blogs and blogging myself!
2. Watching my favorite YouTubers
3. Using calm.com- there is an IPhone and Android app for this that is absolutely amazing for on the go, just put in your headphones and you will be fine!
4. Listening to Music
5. Talking it out with my parents
6. Writing in a notebook to help organize my thoughts
7. Exercising- I especially love biking outside!

Do's and Don'ts for Friends

1. If your friend is having a panic attack or feeling super anxious stay calm! There is nothing worse than having someone else freak out when you are.
2. Do what they say! If they ask for water bring it to them, if they need to leave or stay put tell them either way is okay. (When I was with my friends and they told me we had to leave right away it made me feel so much worse because I felt trapped to do only as they said, once I told them I was having a panic attack they were understanding and stood with me until I felt better.)
3. Remind them that it will only last a maximum of 20 minutes.
4. Don't force them to do anything, don't tell them they have to do anything, don't make them feel rushed, don't leave them unless they want you too, don't hug them unless they ask for one. (Usually affection is nice but it makes me feel more trapped.)
5. Don't make a big deal out of it either, during and after a panic attack the person feels very embarrassed that this is happening, doesn't want this to be happening, and doesn't need to feel worse with you laughing at them or telling them that they are acting weird or funny- trust me, they know they are acting weird, you don't need to point that out to them.

There are so many things you can be anxious about (school, social life, home life, after-school activities, time management, etc.) but managing them and eventually conquering them is key. Sometimes you can also feel anxious and get a panic attack for no reason (my problem all the time). I get overwhelmed so easily and it makes me feel worse, thinking about getting anxiety is bad too! I am trying to deal with it, but it is a long and slow process. Just remember that you are not alone!

I will most likely continue to do anxiety updates every once in a while. Please let me know if this was helpful to anyone at all!

Hello.

Hi! My life has not been super exciting recently. It basically consists of me going to school, coming home, going to ACT class or Croatian School, doing homework, hanging out with friends, and a little bit of working out. (Riding my bike around town is my most favorite thing in the world. I love feeling the wind in my face and just figuring stuff out in my head.)

I'm writing this post while listening to some music on Pandora (The Script radio station is the best!!) I'm also wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with my hair down and unclipped.

This morning I woke up really early for a day off (7:30!!) and had a lengthy conversation about Colleges/Universities with my mom. (We are visiting a school tomorrow!) I read my favorite blog for a while and had a friend over for a couple hours where we mostly just watched the Big Brother Season Finale and some YouTube videos, talked about life, ate some food, and walked around my house with blankets over our shoulders since we were cold and it was rainy out the whole day.

I also surfed the web and found the most gorgeous pair of shoes that I so badly want to buy. I found them on ASOS and I adore them! They're so different from what other people wear to school but at the same time it's not so out of the norm that I would feel uncomfortable. They definitely are very preppy/european. I was thinking I could wear them with frilly socks or bare for school, or with some tights (I have pink ones!) for a more formal event.

Aren't they the cutest things?! They remind me of the shoes I used to wear when I was little!

These socks are from ASOS but I also found some frilly socks from american apparel, (I like the white and black ones) but I couldn't put the image up for some reason. I think I would only wear frilly socks with outfits that contain shorts or skirts, I don't think they would look good with jeans or below the knee pants.

My tights (white, pink, black, and grey.) I think this black swishy dress and the white tights with those shoes would look amazing. I've been obsessing over collared shirts and dresses recently too but I don't own that many. I just want to just find a nice white collared shirt to put under sweaters and have the neckband peek out.

I haven't bought either the shoes or the dress but I'm seriously considering it. I will let you know if I do!

Currently Listening To:

The Script

Maroon 5- She Will Be Loved

Ingrid Michaelson- Girls Chase Boys

*Picture of shoes and socks are taken from the ASOS website, the dress is taken from the NastyGal website, and the tights are mine

Kellogg's Rice Krispy Treats

A while ago I decided it would be fun to make rice krispy treats. My mom and younger brother we arriving home from 3 weeks in Europe and I wanted to welcome them with something edible and simple since I still had my concussion.

I found the instructions to be very confusing on the Kellogg's website so I will phrase them in a much less confusing way here and also link the orginal at the end if you wish to see it. I did alter the recipe to what I found worked best for me.

Ingredients:

1 package of marshmallows (I used the normal size JET-PUFFED ones)
3 tablespoons of butter
6 cups of Kellogg's Rice Krispies Cereal (you could also substitute it with the chocolate krispies version, fruity pebbles, or any kind of cereal really)

Directions:

1. Wash your hands!

2. In a pot, melt the butter on low heat. Add in the marshmallows and stir them in. (It looks very difficult but be slow with it and it will turn out fine!)

3. Stir in your cereal.

4. Use a pan covered in wax paper and, using a spatula, pour the mixture (more like a glob) onto the sheet. I would highly recommend getting your hands wet because for some reason it works better than spreading it out with dry hands. You may need to wash them and wet them a couple of times until the process is done. Put it in the fridge overnight.

5. Cut and serve!


This was for sure one of the more easy recipes I have made and it turned out really well! I would also take note on the size of the pan you use. The larger it is the thinner the rice krispies are, and the smaller it is the thicker the rice krispies are. Mine were a bit thinner than I wanted them to be but they were still tasty none-the-less.

Here is the original Kellogg's Recipe!

First Day of Junior Year

Today was my first day of Junior Year! This year I am doing the IB program which I am so excited about! Read more about the program here.

People say that Junior year is one of the hardest years in High School, between tougher classes, ACT/SAT Tests, and beginning the College/University search, it definately seems like a lot to handle.

Even though this year will be one of the toughest in my high school career, I am looking forward to learning everything. I went to school dreading this upcoming year this morning. But I have to say, as I entered each and every one of my classes and learned what the curriculum was, I became excited! Even though this will be the most difficult year, I know I'll enjoy it because I'm excited about what I'm learning!

The classes I am taking are as follows:

IB Biology SL
IB History of the Americas HL
Film/Photo 1
IB Psychology HL
IB Spanish B: SL
IB Literature HL
IB Math Studies SL
IB Core
Gym

My First day of School Photo!

  

When I came home I biked for half an hour, did some homework (of which I had very few) and then we did a last little summer hurrah and lit up the fireplace!

 

My s'more was very yummy! My mom accidentally bought cinniman graham crackers which ended up tasting amazing!

And then it started to rain and our power went out for a minute!

How was your first day of school?

Concussion Do's and Don'ts

So many of you may have noticed that I haven't blogged since the beginning of the summer. I would love to tell you that I backpacked through Europe, hiked through the Amazon, and had a cross country road trip, but I didn't. I got a concussion that took me out for the summer. I didn't complete relatively anything that was on my summer bucket list.

I was also taken out of my ACT camp because my brain just couldn't function- I didn't know what an odd number was, I kept looking at the problem thinking that there was nothing weird or strange about it!

Anyways, while I didn't necessarily get the summer I wanted, I did get a part time job babysitting for a new family which I'm currently loving! The kids are also adorable- definately would not have happened if not for this concussion!

So how did this concussion happen you might wonder? I'm sure you're dying to know!

Wait for it..


Wait for it..

I went to the beach with my friend and we decided it would be fun to go tubing (not down the river type tubing, being pulled by a boat tubing.) I was honestly terrified and kept trying to think of excuses not to go until I remembered my pledge to say "yes" to new experiences (within reason of course, I'm not going to jump off a bridge if someone tells me too) and so I decided to man up and do it. I'm not going to lie, I had such an amazing time, it was a great experience and I would never change it, even after what happened.

My friend and I were having so much fun and we kept asking the driver to go faster and faster, we were going as fast as we were allowed to go and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, my friend's tube hit a wave and she went airborne headbutting me in my prefrontal cortex in the process. I just remember holding on for dear life as she hit me and grabing my head right after.

I don't remember anything else until the driver was trying to get me off my tube and onto the boat. I literally couldn't walk, my whole world was dizzy and everything was super confusing. I also didn't have my hearing aids on which made the whole experience even scarier. Thank god I didn't fall off my tube face first in the water or get my implant spot hit because that would not have been fun.

We relaxed for a few minutes and then I went tubing for another round thinking that what happened was not a big deal and that everything was fine even though my friend had to tell me what just happened and I couldn't remember my birthdate. (Really pissed at the driver, he should have spotted a concussion- I was not in the right mindset to speak for myself, I didn't know what it was.)

After tubing I went to my friends beach house, packed up my stuff and headed home where I was rushed to the emergency room by my dad and diagnosed officially with a concussion.

I was really scared/anxious at the emergency room, so the nurse gave me an angel which I still have.

The next month following that was a super boring one. I was not allowed to do anything. I sat in the dark all day staring at a blank wall. The highlight of my day was walking outside to get the mail and my night walks with my dad.

So here are some Concussion Do's and Don'ts: